April 24th 2008.... I've officially Lost a big part of me..... I guess i am history for you already... you came when i first started school.... and now you were gone.. when sch is over..... i don't know how should i react... really... i felt a sense of lost..... i lost something soooo important in my life.... should i hate you for leaving me? or should i just wish you all the best? why do i always have to face this over n over again. you mention that you were done with all the crushes... spurs of the moment.... etc.... i guess they are just words which meant nothing after all. i am soo hurt... i've never felt so painful in my life at all... you were the one i gave in so much...... i gave soo much you know..... even my pride.... i've lost it to you.... i know what ever i do now, everything is just too late... you no longer have the same feelings towards me le.... +Heartaches+... seriously... i can't see anything infront of me now.... all i see is a dark...a v v dark path that i will have to go through..... i guess now i can really say.... every r/s happens like a fairy tale and ends tragically. i'm numb towards everything..... it hurts soo much gal..... it hurts so fucking much..... i wish you were not the one.... i really wish you were not the one.... but guess..... its the truth... am i fool? seriously..... i'm soo afraid now... i'm scared to even close my eyes.... because all i see... is those flashes of you n me..... which are all memories now.... sobz..... i miss you....i really miss you so much...... if i have the right to choose.... how i wish i was born a man.... then maybe.... i could really have you for life..... i hope he will treat you sooo much better than i did..... i guess i am not that good after all..... thank you for loving me once.... n giving me the chance to take care of you for the pass 3 years plus..... i hope you will be happy.......... though i don't know how long will i take to forget you..... because everywhere i go.... all i see is you.... tear falls...... but still.. what can i do now..... i am speechless....... Eugene...... you are officially DEAD.....and killed..... guess true love doesn't exist after all......perhaps i was wrong for loving you so much..... because i am hurting...... i really am..... so much till the extend that.... i don't know myself anymore..... and i don't want to know either..... Kareen..... Take Care...... ps: I LOVE YOU....... always will.....
