Ive thought quite alot for a while....being together is already a v happy thing to be...n hard to maintain too...we should not querell at all....when one party lost the other..den they will know how to treasure...so what if i give in? isnt it wat a butch should do to her gal? love is being able to accpet everything of his or her...as long as u love her..u know everything was worth it..even if u felt unfair...u'll still swollow everything just to make her day... im too mcp le la..i guess...i think im too emotional to think tat she keep asking me to change...but is the change better for me? i thought of it myself just now...ever since we had the previous fight, i have know how to reflect on my own actions..i think just now i was too hash on her...am i? i treasure her....i treasure her soo much...that i won't wanna lose her...i wan to make this r/s of ours last...i know ive given in alot for her...so wat am i complaining? she is right...i love her everything..so since i said i love her everything, if she doesnt love everything of mine was part of her...i should take it as well...although its quite saddening...but still...i must love her...im not being unfair to myself or wat...but just, i know that i love her...i love soo much...that i will not allow other parties to have her but me...maybe some of my actions wasnt good after all...nv ask her for dinner...etc..how would she feel when she saw it...sigh..i understand le...i said i was always at fault..n she doesnt have one at all...it wasnt fair..but nth was fair actually...she was the one i choose...so ive got to accept it...i thought ive shown enough concern for her...but i was wrg...she didnt feel it at all...i was too rough on a gal...n i claim tat i love the gal soo much...sigh...tats was wrg as well...i have reflected on my own actions...n i realised that i was in the wrg..i should have shown more care n concern towards her...when she was sick...n even when we were playing..i should get too rough on her...because she's just soo fragil....sigh...she dun feel tat i was a worthless bung...but i felt it myself now...it seems like i wasnt a good gf after all...im always hurting her...letting her gets oo much bruises n etc...making her going home soo late...didn t care about her own safety...sigh..cries..my heartaches soo much...after i reflected on all the things i did...i was supposed to drink my self away...but i didnt..i cun...i was suppose to smoke myself away too..but still i cun..because i thought of her...maybe she was sad as well...but she just didnt show it out...where else i showed her how sad i was..by sending her messages...i should calm myself dwn first alittle...thought i could catch up with her tommor....but i dun think she would wanna see me after all...sigh...i love her...n i dun wan to wait till the last min...when i lose her..tat would be too late i guess....dear...do u feel the same for me? do u miss me as well? i miss her soo much...when i smell her shirt in my room..my heartaches just soo much...sobz...i hope i could see her real soon...n i hope everything could be back to normal agn..sigh.hope both of us would have a clear mind tommor.. Get well soon...Baby..when im not there to tc of u...pls do tc of urself for me...although im soo stress with everything now...but i know somehow...i still have u in my heart...n i hope im still in ur heart as well...nothing would change the feelings i have towards u...n i hope as for your side...u wun change anything towards me too...i will learn how to treasure ppl more....as i cun afford to lose u at all...i hope u know how much u meant to me....good night my darling...i love u sooo much....hugs tight...
